Used 2007 Pontiac Grand Prix for sale in McAllen, TX

GATHER ROUND KIDS, it's time for a tale of misery and woe. It's with heavy heart that I even have to do this, because I KNOW she's got a lot of more miles in her!! Unfortunately, I'm too frustrated with auto related problems and too busy to deal with em, so I was hoping it would land in the hands of someone who's got more time and energy to deal with it. It WILL be worth your while in the end, once she gets up and running again.

PROS:
- I'm gonna miss her because when she DOES run, she runs BEAUTIFULLY. Smooth as butter (although, right now things are running smooth as a jagged rock.) I hope that when you get her to run, you'll see what I'm talking about and fall in love with her the way I did, she's quite sexy, but hopefully, you'll have her around longer than I did. (We're seeing other people right now).
The brakes and the acceleration are incredibly nice and smooth; definitely lives up to the Grand Prix name and makes you feel like you're driving a racecar! *Insert Les Claypool bassline*

- All the paperwork- title, regstration, plates- are all legal and up to date! I will also print out a Bill of Sale.

- If you can fix it , it's POSSIBLE you can get it running with hopefully under $120 in parts/ fixes. Don't quote me, that's just the BEST case scenario! I HOPE all you will need to get this baby running is a battery ($50-60 in walmart) and a starter (I found one that fits this car for $50-60 on amazon!) But please be assured, there is room for error in my estimates because I'm not as car-literate as the next guy.

- Comes with a jug of that orange DEX COOL antifreeze!! You know, because Texas is so feezing!!

- It already has the spare tire, jack etc. Don't worry, I'm not ripping them out and leaving you high n dry. I can't anyway, they're locked in the trunk. (And it's a nightmare trying to get in there, at least right now).

- The trunk, DOES, however, have one of those fancy release latches, in case you happen to get stuck in the trunk looking for the jack and stuff. (At least, that's what you can tell authorities if you're too embarassed for any other excuse of why you got stuck in the doggone trunk again.)

- In the right light, this sh*t SPARKLES like a teen dream vampire!

- The two rear tires are Michelin and are in amazing condition! You could still even see the lil Stay Puft lookin dude on it! You probably wouldn't have to replace those any time soon. The front two are balding a little, but don't mention it because the car will be VERY sensitive about her hair loss. Maybe put some Rogaine on the tires. (I dunno, I never tried it.) Like the car itself, the tires definitely have potential for more miles later on down the road. (Hence, why I ain't scrapped it. I know SOMEONE somewhere can use it).
I am going to be COMPLETELY honest with you about the things I've noticed wrong with it, because the jagoff who sold it to me ... WASN'T!! His name is Hugo, creeps on craigslist for unsuspecting would-be car owners and makes his move. Affiliated with Martinez Auto. Avoid at all costs! It only lasted for a month and cost me over $2250.

CONS:
- POSSIBLY the WIRING!!!! The freakin thing died 2 days after I bought it, and it was "apparently" the battery terminals, which WERE replaced, but still worth noting! (It would die when going over bumps - train tracks, too!! NOT safe!!) Of course, Hugo was beng a shifty dirtbag about it, I called him since it was only 2 days later after my purchase and he proceeded to tell me he's a 'BuSy MaN'. Gee, scamming people sounds REALLY goshdarn stressful and time -consuming!! Poor Baby!!
The dying-when-going-over-bumps wasn't really happening anymore after the terminals were replaced with new ones BUT I would still be very careful and keep an eye on it because you know... that PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAPPEN; It might not be the terminals- it MIGHT be some corroded or loose or stripped wires / loose wire harness or something further INTO the thing, like further past the terminals. It seemed to still have some trouble keeping the power consistently, or even starting. This is the main issue you'd need to check out on it.

- POSSIBLY THE STARTER / ALTERNATOR : So one day, I was about to go home from work and it wouldn't start. I kept cranking until it would no longer even click. I got a jump, but while I was going down a very busy road when suddenly the thing started to lose power! The lights started to dim and the radio was switching from Bluegrass to Beiber. IT WAS A MESS. It was kinda freaky because I had to basically FLOOR IT and go as fast as I can in order to keep it on, because I was worried it wouldn't start again if it DID die in the middle of PM rush hour traffic on Nolana. So you can imagine what a nightmare that would be. I have no idea how or why that was happening, but after it happened TWICE during the same drive home, it NEVER started again after that!!!
I even after I drove it around the block like twenty times to charge the battery. No use. The neighbors were about ready to phone a noise complaint because I circled their houses like 20 times yodeling some Hank Williams because BOY, WAS I FEELING BLUE.

I haven't gotten around to changing the starter or alternator, because knowing my luck, I'll change those two things and come to find out it was SOMETHING ELSE. ONE STEP FORWARD AND TWO STEPS BACK. Nobody gets too far like that.

OTHER RANDOM CRAP WRONG WITH IT

- Obligatory full length Texas-style windshield crack. I heard there's a kit you can get in H-E-B that makes your windshield cracks into the shape of Texas. Or was it a LongHorn?

- Rear passenger window doesn't open or close. Sometimes can slide half an inch down. It's kind of got a mind of it's own back there. I just push it back up or tape it. Worth noting before a rainy day.

- THE TRUNK is ROOMY AF but is being an a-hole right now. 1) You need POWER to open the dang trunk. So I can't tell you what it's like in there. It's probably reminiscent of one of the gates of hell. When I first got it, there was literally like 5-7 GALLONS (not cups, GALLONS) of water in the spare tire well. It had me thinking this jagoff Hugo lied about the car being flood damaged; not just because of the other stuff wrong with it, but it also had an EXTREMELY heavy mildew smell when I first got it - I could be wrong, but the excess moisture got me thinking. (Most of the smell is gone, but if any remains, throw some baking soda around; that worked great for me!) 2) The other possibility is that the gasket-sealy thing? the black strip that keeps water out of the trunk? That could also be missing or damaged. That could explain how it got so wet in there over time.

- SHES GOT DIMPLES!!! veeeeery slight hail damage. Like, you'd have to squint to see it. OH and WRINKLES!!! Looks like someone's idea of "aUtO dEtAiLiNg" was running over minor scratches with a friggin Crayola Marker. Probably the least of your worries, though. (Honestly I think they're kinda cute).

- There was once a cat orgy on the hood / windshield area. I can't tell you how intense it was, I made sure to not watch. (At least, not for THAT long.)

- I THINK THE HIGHBEAMS ARE HAUNTED. They click on by themselves! I got pulled over for this asshattery!!! You might just need to tighten something on the clicker, but at least when you first start driving it, be very careful of this at night. Personally, I think the high beams are great; the cops and everyone else don't, but screw them.

- NEEDS A NEW BATTERY!! I just got it tested in Walmart the other day, and they said it was bad. WORST OF ALL apparently that Hugo guy ripped off the sticker that you need to get a replacement battery within the warranty period. This was news to me, as the Walmart Auto lady said "Sometimes people scam others by ripping the label needed for the warranty, and putting it on a completely different battery". THANKS HUGO, mf can't go by a day without scamming anyone. The GOOD news is, it uses one of those smaller / less expensive batteries and and when you replace it, you will at least have the current battery so you don't have to pay the extra $30-50 core charge or whatever.

To conclude this novel, I am just trying to be as honest as possible because I don't want anyone to get screwed over as badly as I did. I refuse to scrap it however, because this car could be someone's dream car! She just needs some love, and it shatters my heart that I can't be the one to give it to her. If I had more time and money, ABSOLUTELY, but I'm just drained running around in circles learning the HARD way what's wrong with her since nobody told me. I really hope to come across someone who will at least try. She may be self conscious and maybe a little sick right now, but she's a beautiful bucking bronco when well taken care of. I can tell the previous owner (NOT that dirtbag Hugo) really cherished her and took good care of her. She ran really well for being over 250,000 miles.

And just to reiterate, if you see ANY cars listed with the telephone number : ninefivesix- fiveninenine- threeninesevensix / threesixone-foursixone-threeseventwotwo / from Hugo in Mission or Martinez Auto in Palmview- DO NOT buy a car from him!!! He will take your money and run after casually leaving out everything that's wrong with it and be really sketchy about any receipts.

Email me if interested, I'll respond promptly as I can! I work alot so I'm sorry to say, you might have to work around my schedule to come see the car. Apologies in advance!

Thank you for coming to my TED Talks and have a blessed day!